Welcome once again to The Sacrificial Man; a place where men go to discover their purpose. I thought I’d take a few moments to share some of my personal insights into the topic of provision and give some insight on the question of how to provide as a man.

When we think of provision we often think only of the jobs we hold and the amount of money we make, but it isn’t that simple. While money is part of the equation, and is in fact #1 in my list of 4 below, it is only surface-level when it comes to our God-given responsibility of provision. So with that let’s get started! And peace be to you, your wives, and your children.

Income

A man of God provides the income that brings in food for his family. Income is important, but the money itself isn’t the purpose or the end. In fact, money is a tool in and of itself. You should not pursue it for its own sake, but to honor God and provide your family with a sense of security.

This doesn’t mean that you have to earn a certain amount of money, but it does indicate that money has a role to play. Just like you need a wrench to change the oil in your car, so too do you need money to provide food and other essentials.

Both a wrench and money serve the same function. Namely, they are tools that are meant to be used in a specific way. Just like you couldn’t in good faith use a wrench to cause harm to another person, neither should you use money in that way.

Something to remember: Like anything in our lives we tend to create masters and false Gods out of the things we feel give us purpose. Just because it feels purposeful doesn’t mean it actually is. Jesus spent time talking about money, in particular about greed and letting money become master over you:

““No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.”

Matthew 6:24 NIV

The very second we prioritize money as an object to be attained at all costs is the moment we have lost sight of God. Furthermore, we are believing in the lie that money has intrinsic value. Money isn’t valuable in and of itself however, but can only help to provide value if used for God’s glory.

So how do we focus on the responsibility of providing income over the temptation to use it recklessly? I believe the first thing we should do is recognize our responsibility as men, husbands, and fathers. All of those titles require a heightened state of accountability. They cannot be justly held if we are abusing those we should protect and misusing money for sinful things.

Work hard for what you earn and use it for your family’s good. Put a roof over their head, food on the table, and most importantly, cultivate joy through God by giving generously and stewarding responsibly.

Shelter

A follower of Christ provides a place for his family to live. Contrary to popular belief, this doesn’t have to mean a big 5-bedroom home with a 4 car garage on 2-4 acres of land. In fact, shelter can be something as simple as a 1 or 2 bedroom apartment. While we probably shouldn’t devolve it any further, say to a cardboard box, you get the idea. Shelter means a safe, secure environment that affords you and your family privacy.

But shelter also means more than we typically envision whenever we hear that word. The word shelter really just means a ‘safe environment’. In many ways, God is our shelter, or provides a shelter for us through his character.

“You have been a refuge for the poor, a refuge for the needy in their distress, a shelter from the storm and a shade from the heat. For the breath of the ruthless is like a storm driving against a wall”

Isaiah 25:4 NIV

So when we think about what it means to provide shelter for our families, it means to become a refuge, to provide comfort, and to secure against the ‘storms’ of life. While shelters are physical, we also need to establish a spiritual shelter.

“For in the day of trouble he will keep me safe in his dwelling; he will hide me in the shelter of his sacred tent and set me high upon a rock.”

Psalms 27:5 NIV

When we are in our most troubled times, our family will benefit most from the shelter we provide. Work hard to ensure that your family has a roof over their heads. Provide spiritual protection over them which can only be gained by the power of God.

In talking about shelter I will end it with this: that a physical shelter without the spiritual is nothing. Many men have ruled their homes with anger, resentment, and bitterness and driven their families out of their arms.

“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”

Ephesians 6:4 ESV

What good does providing a home over your children do if you do not follow God’s wishes for them? In providing shelter we must also provide love. Some men are very proud of the home they can afford to buy, all the while they have no idea how disconnected they are from their wife and children.

Time

A good husband and father provides his personal time to his family. If a man gives his time to his work, colleagues, and friends but withholds his attention from his family, what has he really gained?

Oftentimes it is easiest for us men to give our time to the fun things in life; hobbies, video games, our phones, etc… but these things do not give us meaning or glorify God, especially when they come at the expense of taking care of our families.

All the more tragic, as fathers we are the ultimate role models for our children. When we show them where our priorities lie, they will almost certainly reflect those same things later on. If you are absent in the household and don’t give your family the time of day, neither will they when they stumble into marriage.

Those in our lives need our attention. This isn’t just our wives and kids, but our siblings and parents too, as well as friends and even strangers need our time and attention. This world wasn’t created for us to dink around with our most recent obsession. We are here to glorify God. Instead of video games and beer, we should be pursuing our wives and children instead. There will be plenty of time later on for the fun stuff, only after we have tended to the important stuff first.

Culture

Last but certainly not least is the provision of an open, spiritual culture in your family’s home. This is your responsibility to establish, because if you’re not actively involved in fostering it, no one will.

If you’re not working to keep a positive Godly culture in your home and baked into your family’s lives, it will fade away into nothing. There is just something about a husband and father’s involvement that inspires his family. If your kids see you leading in prayer, spiritual activities, and family-bonding routines, they will surely follow.

So what kinds of things can you do to provide a Godly culture in your home? Perhaps the single greatest way is to model the fruit of the Holy Spirit. They are the following as described in Galatians:

‘But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. ‘

Galatians 5:22-23

In Conclusion..

So let’s summarize the 4 categories of provision discussed in this article so as to spell it out clearly for you.

1. Provision of Income
2. Provision of Shelter
3. Provision of Time
4. Provision of Culture

Now reflect! Do you provide income for your household? If not, is there a legitimate reason for that? If one is disabled and physically unable to work for one reason or another, then perhaps they might need to rely upon other forms of provision. Otherwise, generally it is not good that a man should spend his time earning no income, and placing that burden instead on his wife or other friends/family.

Have you established protection over your family? Are you a safe and protective presence for them, or do arguments seem to follow you everywhere you go? If so, the problem may not be a nagging wife but your inattentiveness to her needs. You wife and children should feel safe around you.

Do you give those around you your undivided attention and time? If you prioritize pizza and beer, and the Cowboys game over time with your loved ones, you will eventually find those loved ones have moved on without you. Turn off the game! Put down your phone! Come home on time from work, and remember you can never get back time once it has passed. When it’s gone, it’s gone.

And do you set the culture or tone in your household? If you have established the other methods of provision then this one should form naturally, but that doesn’t mean it always will. Setting the culture requires taking the initiative. Sit down and discuss the way you want your family to run with your wife. Respect her point of view and make the best decision for your family.

All of these ways of providing for our families are a great start for those of you desiring to become sacrificial men. It takes intentionality, not incompetence, to be a provider. At the same time, remember that it’s ok to make mistakes and fall short. Sometimes we have to ask for and rely upon other people’s forgiveness for our shortcomings.

If you count yourself as a believer of Christ than it should logically follow that you are a provider also. It is important to remember: a man who does not provide is worse than an unbeliever.

TAKE HEART!

Keep working hard men and know you have my understanding for your struggles. Being a provider isn’t easy, but it is right. So take comfort in that! We aren’t choosing to be true men because it’s the easy path, but because it is best for the people we love most.

Peace be upon you and your families, and may God be with you! To read more about another of the pillars of biblical manhood click here.