Welcome to The Sacrificial Man blog, and thanks for taking the time to stop by! For those of you who are asking how to be a Godly man, I feel confident in saying you’ve chosen the right place to start. With that being said, please continue reading to identify the 7 traits of a sacrificial man!
Humility
A man’s ability to lower his own needs and concerns directly correlates with his ability to sacrifice for the good of others. The scriptures are clear when it comes to humility:
”Whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted.“
Matthew 23:12 ESV
A man must serve his family with humility, submitting to God and the role which He has assigned to us men as husbands and fathers. When we boast, it makes our wives feel unimportant and neglected. Our children are also given a poor example of what it means to be a father.
When we elevate ourselves over others we are telling them that they aren’t as important as we are, or that their needs come second to ours. God has made it clear that nothing could be further from the truth. We are called to serve our families as Christ served the church. Serving means we give ourselves up for our wives and instruct our children in the ways of the Lord.
These tasks require a man of discipline who willingly gives up instead of selfishly takes. It is against our base nature to shoulder the responsibility, yet when we do, we feel just how right it is. That’s because it gives us purpose.
Humility requires practice, and although the old saying would convince you that practice makes perfect, that is not the case here. You will never be perfect in lowering yourself, but you must strive to be the very best you can in that regard. In learning how to be a Godly man we have to put in the effort.
And remember, don’t do it because it pleases your wife and children, do it because it pleases God! The former will follow.
GENEROUS
A generous man is a happy man. He rejoices in his giving. We are called to be cheerful givers and that duty is especially true in the home. We can be generous with more than just the tangibles.
Our time is our most valuable asset, and combining that with compassion, kindness, and gentleness will make it all the more valuable.
Oftentimes, generosity is all about changing it up. This means deviating from the norm and thinking of others before yourself. Though this isn’t natural it certainly is a responsibility that us men must take on daily. It’s not an option, but a requirement.
Sometimes the opportunities are in front of you and you don’t even notice. In fact, they usually present themselves every single day and you have let them slip by without a thought.
Being generous with your attention is a gift your wife will treasure beyond most. Put down the controller, move your gaze away from the TV, and pay attention to what she is saying. Video games can wait, but your responsibilities cannot.
If you want to become the leader you were meant to be, then LEAD! That means being proactive rather than reactive. Does your wife criticize the amount of time you spend on unimportant hobbies? If she does you’re likely not taking the initiative of leadership in your home.
Listen to your wife and be generous with your time. Take over the finances. Regularly assume one of your wife’s most despised household chores. Have daily discussions with your children. In essence: change it up. We are routine oriented creatures whether those are good or bad routines! The deeper into bad time habits you fall, the more difficult it is to climb out.
MEN: If your pursuit is in being a better Christian man then be generous with your time, your attention, your heart, and your intention. Sitting aside and forcing your wife to be the primary giver is a sign of weakness in the marriage. Remember, that which you haven’t given is already taken by the devil.
STRENGTH
“Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. Let all that you do be done in love.”
1 Corinthians 16:13-14 ESV
To be sacrificial you must be strong. We need not look any further than the greatest sacrifice. Jesus Christ displayed a greater strength than any man before or since when he went to the cross willingly. In so doing he paid the price for our sins.
Strength is not a physical requirement, but a mental discipline. A man of God is a man of strength. The sort of strength comes not from his own reassurances but that of his Father.
Sometimes we must be strong in ways that others don’t understand. Though it seems almost impossible to bear our burdens we must retain our strength and continue forward with diligence. It is especially difficult for us men who have a particular inclination towards justice.
When we feel wronged or inconvenienced we often feel the desire to lash out or shrug off our responsibilities. A man of strength recognizes this urge and resists it. He knows that, in the long term, spiritual fruit is born out of persistence. This is why strength is one of the defining characteristics of a Godly man.
RESPECT
A man of God sees his wife and children as the blessings that they are. In response he acts accordingly in their favor. This base respect for them is just the start, as his love and appreciation for them grows over time.
A Godly man who lives for his family doesn’t talk down to them or chastise them. Neither does he hasten to anger towards them, belittle them, or treat them poorly. We as husbands and fathers must remember that we are entrusted with our family. If we don’t tend to them like a gardener does his garden, we can lose them.
A good husband and father understands that one of the requirements of serving his family is the idea that he acts respectfully towards them. This means being honest, asking for forgiveness, speaking kindly, acting gently towards, and considering first. A sacrificial man treats those around him with respect, even when he doesn’t feel he is receiving it back.
COMPASSION
As men, husbands, and fathers we often find it most natural to extend tough love. This is most often utilized in the father-son relationship, where we are teaching them to take responsibility, minimize complaints and grievances, and grind on ahead. As the givers of tough love however, we sometimes tend to overdo the toughness and forget about the love. If we don’t have compassion and understanding towards others we will eventually find that we ourselves will not be given that same compassion.
Compassion is like welcoming arms and a graceful embrace to those who need it. It sometimes feels unnatural to us men to extend compassion to others, but it is an absolute must if we are to sacrifice for the betterment of society and the wellbeing of our families. It all boils down to understanding.
Give others a level of care and attention that you yourself desire, even if you’re not receiving it. You’ll find that your wife and children will open up to you and receive you better if they have the trust that comes along with repeated compassion.
Many men have neglected this particular skill in their journeys as husbands and fathers, but that is a grave mistake. A cold, distant, angry and uncompromising man is one who reaps what he bitterly sows. Don’t be a burden to your family, be the one who lifts the burdens and provides relief. Give compassion to those around you and don’t ask for favors in return.
FAITHFUL
The Bible has a lot to say about faith and the role it plays in our life. Faith is about trust and loyalty and how those two characteristics dictate our actions. It also includes the element of belief, which is also an action-driven characteristic.
Think about it in the simplest form: we have faith in Jesus Christ that He is the Son of God and that He died for our us. We truly believe that Jesus is who He said He is, and we respond with loyalty to Him.
“Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.”
Hebrews 11:1 ESV
So must we, with our families and friends, be faithful. Our duty as men is to cultivate trust so that others can utilize us in the ways we are best meant to be utilized. As men, we are often counted upon for advice, direction, security, provision, and so much more. If we don’t prove ourselves trustworthy, and we aren’t men of conviction, others will see it with hardly any effort.
Place your trust and loyalty in Jesus Christ, believe that He is your Lord and others will see His light through you. There is no wisdom that can be gained from this world, so gain it from Jesus instead. Let Him mold you into a true follower, faithful in much because he is faithful in little, never overlooking that which is often overlooked.
Faithful men are recognized more than they realize. Be faithful to your Lord, be faithful to your wife, and be faithful in your bringing up of children. Don’t be disloyal to your friends or family, but turn towards them and give them the faithfulness they need from you. Trust that you aren’t the only one who can do it, but that others have something to offer as well and are worth listening to.
PATIENCE
Patience is a well-watered tree, and the other six traits on the list are the fruits of its labor. Without patience nothing can be accomplished which is worth achieving. In order to be a true sacrificial man you must learn the art of patience. It is a skill which is rarely utilized in our modern culture of instant gratification and ever-evolving solutions and advancement.
A sure mark of a man striving to be a better Christian is in how he treats his wife. The goal is to grow your relationship with Jesus, so in your patience don’t pursue the immediate gratifications of worldly pleasures. So remember:
One of the biggest mistakes a man can make is treating his marriage like the world treats pleasure.
A man of God is a patient man who understands that God has his own perfect timing. Things don’t happen when you want them to, but it’s not your role to sulk or complain.
Have patience and faith that what must be done will be done and in its perfect time. Be slow to anger with your children, and allow mistakes to be made. Practice patience where you yourself never receive it, and witness the rejoicing of your spirit and the relief of your stresses.
While these 7 traits are not all that makes up a sacrificial man, they are a great start. To the outside world you will seem very different and perhaps even abnormal. The world does not sympathize with the idea of sacrifice, self-control, and the disciplines of manhood which God has assigned to us.
Be assured that while the world may not appreciate you, God always will. Your wife and children also will see this change and respond to it positively. If you want to be humble, generous, strong, respectful, compassionate, strong in faith, and patient with those you love, it starts with dying to your own desires and taking up that which is your responsibility.
Serve your wife and tend to your children. Die for her if need be, as Christ died for his bride, the church.
Thank you for taking the time to read what I have to say about sacrifice and the traits that embody a sacrificial spirit! Another important facet of being a good man, husband, and father is in identifying the influences of your culture and how you can resist it! Read here to learn more.
For an additional take on sacrifice and what it entails, please check out the man in the arena podcast and blog! I found this short episode to be insightful: